The Role of Play

Q: What does it mean that children learn through play?

Children learn about the world through play. For example, playing peek-a-boo teaches them about people coming and going. By dropping food off their high chair, they learn about gravity. Active rough-and-tumble play helps them understand their bodies’ strength and coordination. Playing with other children and adults helps them practice important social skills like sharing.

Q: Why is playfulness an important aspect of parenting?

Playfulness is essential for building a close and warm connection between parents and children. Engaging in play after moments of frustration or upset can help mend the relationship. Playing games, pretending to be pirates, or exploring a child’s imaginative world through toys can create joyful reunions and strengthen the bond between parent and child.

Q: Why is learning through play important?

Young children learn best through play rather than lectures or structured activities. They absorb knowledge effortlessly while having fun. Look at how rapidly a two-year-old learns language or how much a three-year-old can know about specific interests like dump trucks or dinosaurs. Play allows them to learn accidentally, fostering their natural curiosity and facilitating their development. It’s important to note that they learn without the need for flashcards or formal instruction, similar to how they learn to speak or walk without explicit teaching.

Q: What is the role of toys in playful learning?

Toys can enhance children’s learning through play when they encourage creativity and imagination. The key is for the toys to provide a starting point for exploration rather than doing all the work for the child. Great toys allow children to bring the world around them into their play, enabling them to engage with different roles and scenarios. For example, a child can’t drive or be a real doctor, but they can play with a toy ambulance and imagine taking it to a toy hospital.

Q: How important is imaginative play for children?

Imaginative play is crucial for children’s learning and development, especially between the ages of three and six (though it starts earlier and continues beyond). Toys and games that enable children to create and tell their own stories are highly valuable. Dress-up clothes, both child and adult sizes, should be accessible to all children, as they foster imagination and allow for limitless possibilities.

Q: What is cognitive learning, and how is it different from a child learning their ABCs or numbers?

Cognitive learning involves exploring fundamental questions that shape a child’s understanding of the world. These questions include self-identity, physical abilities, cause and effect, empathy, problem-solving, and more. While young children may not articulate these concepts using specific terms, they actively engage with them throughout the day. Cognitive learning serves as the foundation for scholastic learning, which involves specific subjects like numbers, letters, colours, and factual knowledge.

Q: Would you say that there’s been a shift from cognitive learning to scholastic learning among parents today? If so, what’s the impact on a child’s development?

Indeed, there has been a noticeable shift from cognitive learning to scholastic learning among parents, educators, and toy companies. This shift implies that all toys and play should have an educational purpose, which misses the essence of the play. By prioritizing academic skills like reading or getting into prestigious schools at an early age, children may miss out on vital aspects of development, such as self-discovery, creativity, and imaginative play. It is crucial to allow children to engage in enjoyable, unstructured play to foster their holistic growth.

Q: Is it okay to be competitive when playing with my child? Should I let them win?

For very young children, it is beneficial to focus on play where everyone wins, or where winning and losing are not emphasized. As children start playing games with winners and losers, it is important to build their confidence and sense of accomplishment. Allowing them to win most of the time initially boosts their self-esteem. However, as they grow, they may ask if you are playing your hardest. At this point, you can ask them if they want a greater challenge, demonstrating trust in their abilities and supporting their desire to test themselves. It’s important to strike a balance between letting them win and providing growth opportunities.

Q: What’s the role of playful parenting and learning in discipline?

Families that engage in happy and fun playtime together tend to experience fewer power struggles. Setting aside dedicated time each week for uninterrupted play, without worrying about daily tasks, can make children more cooperative and reduce misbehaviour. When children have ample time to play and enjoy what they love, they feel more confident, leading to a decrease in nagging and fussing.

Q: What do you think of toy guns and aggressive play?

Children naturally use fantasy play to process feelings of aggression and to understand the violence they may encounter. Symbolic or fantasy-related toys, like paper towel rolls, toy swords, or magic wands, are more conducive to this type of play than realistic-looking toy guns. The latter restricts their play to only shooting scenarios, whereas objects with broader symbolism allow for a wide range of imaginative possibilities.

Q: What’s the role of roughhousing with kids? Is it good or bad?

Roughhousing can be a positive activity if certain guidelines are followed. Some rules to ensure a safe and enjoyable experience include prioritizing basic safety, using every opportunity to connect with your child, fostering their confidence rather than competing with them, avoiding holding them down and tickling them, and providing enough resistance for them to exert themselves and emerge victorious. If wrestling doesn’t appeal to you, try the sock game—a playful activity where everyone tries to remove each other’s socks while keeping their own on. This game is guaranteed to create laughter and joy.

Q: How can playful learning build confidence in my child?

Playful learning builds confidence in children through mastery of new skills, creating something impressive, and problem-solving. When children achieve success or figure something out during play, they experience a surge of confidence. Whether they laugh with joy or display intense concentration, these moments reinforce their belief in their abilities. Providing them with challenging tasks and supporting their efforts fosters a sense of accomplishment and boosts their self-assurance.

Q: Do you offer different playful parenting tips for boys vs. girls?

While our culture tends to excel in helping girls feel connected and safe, it often excels in encouraging boys to be adventurous and confident. However, all children require a balance of security and exploration. To address this, parents can focus on establishing connections with boys, such as through handshakes or hugs before and after a game. With girls, it’s important to promote physical strength and encourage them to engage in adventures. However, it is worth noting that all children, regardless of gender, have the same developmental and cognitive needs. Thus, seek out toys and activities that cater to their universal requirements.